Codependency affects more than just the person being codependent and their partner. Children raised in a home with a dysfunctional family or a parent that was ill tends to grow up codependent.
Listed are symptoms of being codependent. To be considered codependent you don’t need to experience all the symptoms listed.
- It's not okay to talk about problems
- You don’t trust your instincts or other people
- Unpleasant feelings that should not be openly expressed
- Keep your feelings to yourself
- Communication is best when it is indirect
- Use another family member as a messenger between two others
- Always be good, strong, right and perfect - or at least act it
- Make us proud beyond realistic expectations
- Don't be selfish
- Do as I say, not as I do
- It's not okay to be playful
- It's not okay to shine or excel too much
- Do not rock the boat
- Disaster is always lurking just around the corner, so tread lightly
- Guard the family secrets
- You should feel guilty or scared to say "no"
- Pretend there are no problems
- Nice people are boring
- If we disagree with each other, we are attacking or abandoning each other
- Control others by manipulating with threats, fear, guilt or pity
- If you need attention, be overly dramatic to get it
- Set off others' emotional temperatures to see how it is you feel
- If you control things and people you will be safe
Codependency has many factors when it comes to what causes it. Personality traits, genetics, cultural beliefs, having a history of distress and or relationship traumas, social influences, and having an addiction can all be linked to codependency.
Psychologists due to the increased success rates commonly recommend seeking help in an inpatient facility. While attending an inpatient facility you will learn to:
- Honestly assess their relationship with their addicted loved one
- Create boundaries to limit tension and inequality
- Accept the fact that they are not to blame for their loved one's addiction
- Establish a more assertive behavior in the context of their relationship
Getting psychiatric treatment is used for exploration of what caused the self-esteem issues that have contributed to codependency. By the time patients leave the facility, they walk away with useful methods to help continue their treatment.